As You Dance
by Crabby Dungeness
Summary: Re-upoloaded, but probably not much better, Ginny's thoughts on the Yule Ball, and Hermione. Slight Angst.


Just a little peek at the Yule Ball, Hermione's views, and Ginny's thoughts. Slight slash implied.  
  
Disclaimer: You really believe that I own Harry Potter. Hah. Crazy person . . .  
  
***  
  
I watched you, you know. Watched as you danced (with him), as you laughed (with him), as you talked (with him). And I knew it wasn't right you should be laughing with ME. You should be talking with ME.  
  
You should be dancing with me.  
  
You looked so beautiful. Not that you don't usually. And it wasn't the dazzling (only slightly revealing) dress robes. And it wasn't the unusual (more than slightly perfect) hairdo. It was you. Not the Hermione hiding behind books, not the Hermione nagging about studies. The amazing, beautiful, glowing, incredibly intelligent Hermione Granger. The Hermione I fell in love with.  
  
But I can't have you.  
  
How could I? I'm nobody. I'm the second choice. I'm the lowest step. I'm the one who people only pretend to see. Be nice to me. Be polite to me. But for god sakes, don't you dare notice me. Because I'm not that kind of person. How could someone as stunning, brilliant, and wonderful as you pay any attention to me? I'm invisible. I'm ignored. I'm less than special.  
  
I also happen to be a girl.  
  
You don't know what it's like to be looking at what I can never have. To be gazing over poor Neville's shoulder as he trips over my feet. To watch as you twirl, step, glide, *float* with HIM. But I do. I watch as you laugh. I watch as you talk.  
  
I watch as you dance.  
  
*  
  
Hermione made her way over to the drink table, her heart racing. Dancing was brilliant, but it sure took her breath away. She fanned herself and spotted a familiar red burst of hair at the butterbeer barrel.  
  
"Hi Ginny."  
  
Ginny and Hermione had become very close over the summer, sharing a tent at the World Cup.  
  
[Do you know how hard it was to watch you sleep?]  
  
"Oh, hey Hermione."  
  
Ginny seemed a little sad to Hermione. Of course, it must be hard for her to have to watch Harry dance with someone else all evening.  
  
[How could someone like Harry every compare to you?]  
  
"Having a good time?"  
  
[Like hell.]  
  
"Sure. Neville's being real sweet. He says the swelling will probably go down in a week or so."  
  
Hermione smiled weekly and glanced down at Ginny's toes, which were slowly turning red.  
  
"The, um, Great Hall looks fabulous. They really did a good job on it."  
  
"Mm-hmm."  
  
Hermione sometimes felt sorry for Ginny. She always seemed to be alone. Having friends as ignorant as Ron was better than having no friends at all. So Hermione always tried to be kind to her.  
  
[Stop being so nice to me, I know it's not real.]  
  
She really did like Ginny, but it was hard to stay close friends because of the year difference.  
  
[It's, not real, not real, not]  
  
"You look really great, you know. I love your robes, they really match your eyes," she said, praying to god that her eyes were dark green.  
  
[My eyes are brown.]  
  
"Thanks. You look nice too."  
  
Hermione smiled, glad to find a conversation topic. "Thanks. But I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much for helping me with my hair." And it was really nice of her to help her with that.  
  
"It was nothing."  
  
[It was everything.]  
  
She really had put a lot of time into it.  
  
[It was over too fast.]  
  
Hermione would have to remember to pay her back.  
  
[I'll never forget.]  
  
The silence stretched, and Hermione scrambled for a way to end it. She looked around and spotted Ron and Harry sitting. She was about to excuse herself when Ginny reached over to fill her goblet. Her fingers bumped  
  
[caressed]  
  
Hermione's hand on accident  
  
[on purpose.]  
  
A sudden not-so-unpleasant chill shot up Hermione's arm. She politely moved  
  
[snatched]  
  
her hand away  
  
[from me.]  
  
"Um, I think I'll go talk to Harry and Ron," Hermione said, clearing her throat and looking away  
  
[from me.]  
  
They exchanged friendly smiles and Hermione turned and walked away  
  
[from me.]  
  
*  
  
I watched you go, did you notice the tears in my eyes? Did you notice my sad smiles, my nervous movements? Did you even really notice me?  
  
This is all it will ever be. Polite smiles. Vague conversation. The little She's My Best Friend's Sister So I Have To Be Nice acts. Nothing will ever happen. Nothing will ever change. I will always be watching what I cannot have. Like I'm doing now.  
  
Watching you.  
  
As you dance.  
  
***  
  
Yes, those little [ . . . ] blips were Ginny's. Don't let me confuse you anymore than I have to.  
  
Kinda short, but I like it that way. I think it's sort of sweet, in a sad way. I promise to write one where they get together soon. I swear! I'm not all angst!  
  
Please review, it feeds my ego. 


End file.
